From the moment we’re born, we’re woven into a network of systems that shape who we are as humans.

Parents, schools, governments, and friends all have a say in defining our reality—telling us what the world is, how we should act, where we should be, and even who we are.

They hold authority over us, and we live according to their commands.

guide our choices so subtly that we often don’t even realize we’re not deciding for ourselves. Rather our decisions were chosen for us.

But once we detach from these influences, we’re set free to become a unique individual. We must then make decisions for ourselves.

What career should I pursue?
Where should I live?
Who should my friends be?
Who should my partner be?

This sudden shift of maturation is difficult and necessary for the development of the psyche. We realize that decisiveness isn’t always easy, leading to feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and fearful. This pressure to be someone can consume us.

So, how do we cultivate true decisiveness?

We’ll dive into the art of making tough decisions, the influences that sway our choices, and the ways to break free from indecisiveness to lead a life that feels authentically our own.

The Formation of Decisions

Life is an accumulation of small decisions that you make every moment, both consciously and unconsciously.

Some sources say we make 33,000 to 35,000 decisions a day.

While this number may seem high, it becomes more plausible when considering the countless choices we face, from what we eat and wear to what we say, think, and do.

These decisions are often shaped by our mental and emotional state in the present moment.

Yet, how often are we truly present "in the moment"?

For many of us, the mind is elsewhere—worrying about the future or fixating on the past.

This constant distraction disrupts our ability to make clear decisions.

It’s as if a dam blocks the flow of a river, or we’re driving through thick fog.

In this analogy, the fog represents our overthinking, clouding our thoughts and making decision-making more challenging.

A modern phrase that describes this idea is:

Analysis Paralysis

Analysis paralysis occurs when overthinking leaves us unable to make a decision, resulting in a state of mental and emotional paralysis. It’s common for anxiety to surge in these moments, making the hesitation grow.

But Alan Watts said it best:

The first time I encountered this quote, it stuck with me deeply. It made me realize how all my moments of anxiety had been futile.

But of course, it’s easier said than done. When you’re in the grip of overthinking, your mind simply reacts the way it has been conditioned to over time.

However, as you develop greater self-awareness, you’ll begin to observe your thoughts and recognize the patterns behind them. You’ll start connecting the dots and understanding why you think and feel the way you do.

I bring this up to encourage the practice of mindfulness and self-awareness. When you reach the point where you can watch your thoughts as they arise, you'll start to see that your mind creates anxiety through imagined fears.

The constant dwelling on what might happen in the future or replaying events from the past fuels this anxiety.

We’re all guilty of this, and it almost feels ingrained in human nature.

Over thousands of years, the collective mind has shaped the way we think and react. But now, in the modern world, the mind and body are at odds with one another.

Through evolution, we have inadvertently created a cascade of mental challenges, particularly around fear.

Fear is a primal instinct, hardwired into our DNA as a survival mechanism. In the past, it protected us from real, tangible threats in the natural world.

But now the same response is created mentally.

The body doesn’t distinguish between an actual danger and a perceived one. This triggers the fight-or-flight response, which is closely linked to analysis paralysis. Thoughts and emotions take the lead, dictating our decisions.

But what if I told you that many of the decisions you think are yours aren’t really made by you, but are heavily influenced by others?

Your thoughts are not your own.

The symbols, language, and frameworks we use to understand the world are inherited, not self-created.

They shape our perception and are almost impossible to escape. Yet, these inherited ways of thinking might be holding you back—especially when external influences manipulate or sway your decisions.

Consider a time when you wanted to make a decision, so you share your thoughts with someone—perhaps a parent, friend, spouse, or partner.

Did their reaction make you second-guess yourself?
Did it cause you to hesitate or abandon your original course, even though you felt it was the right path?

People often weigh in on our decisions, sometimes offering criticism masked as "advice." This "advice" may be influenced by their own fears, insecurities, and societal conditioning.

In these moments, what may seem like helpful guidance can actually stem from their own limiting beliefs, subtly discouraging you from pursuing what truly resonates with you.

There is some truth to what Naval said:

It doesn't mean to avoid asking for help. But, use your judgment to filter the advice. If it's self-destructive, it's NOT the right choice.

The right decision aligns you with a greater consciousness. It is in harmony with your purpose or nature.

Going against this is going against nature.

Going against nature is going against yourself.

Going against yourself is going against everything.

When you resist your true nature, you resist everything that stems from it. It becomes a struggle against the very source of creation, a source that lives and breathes through all things.

New Age will say that it is living from your highest self or that it is living from your intuition.

Logically vs Intuitively deciding

Since the rise of technology, our thinking has become increasingly mechanical. We operate through rational functions like logic and analysis.

But is this truly the best way to make decisions?

We often hear phrases like "follow your heart," "trust your gut," or "the heart knows best."

These expressions point to a different kind of knowing—what some might call intuition. Yet, in the modern world, this connection to intuition seems increasingly repressed.

The irony is that trying to be more intuitive can become a contradiction, as the effort itself comes from a rational mindset.

I recall a time when I faced the decision to quit a job. I desperately wanted to listen to my intuition, but the more I tried, the more I found myself overthinking it.

The desire to decide intuitively had me stuck in a loop of rational analysis.

Maybe my struggle lay in understanding what intuition actually is. Does anyone truly know?

According to Jung, the ego is the center of consciousness and the source of the rational mind. Intuition, on the other hand, appears to come from a deeper place—beyond the ego, within the realms of the personal and collective unconscious.

It’s as if the unconscious mind pieces things together and informs us, though not through logical means.

To tap into this kind of knowing, it’s necessary to quiet the ego, allowing intuition to speak. One way to access this state is through what psychologists call "flow."

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes flow as a state where you instinctively know what to do without needing to think about it. However, to create the conditions for flow, there must be some level of logical planning and preparation.

It’s a balance—using rationality to lay the groundwork, then letting intuition guide the way.

Prevent the Trap of Indecisiveness

In decision-making, success often comes from making tough choices and enduring discomfort. This willingness to face challenges is what separates the successful from the unsuccessful.

Imagine you’re faced with two choices: one brings short-term pain, while the other postpones the discomfort to a later time.

Jerzy Gregorek, Naval Ravikant’s trainer, simplifies the dilemma:

Hard choices = Easy Life

Easy choices = Hard Life

Just like working out, where you endure short-term suffering to become stronger and healthier in the long run, making difficult decisions today can lead to a better, easier life down the road. It's unavoidable.

Yes, it hurts. But with each hard choice, your ability to tolerate discomfort improves.

If you want to become the best version of yourself, you need to make bold decisions. If you're reluctant to do so, you might be blinded by the allure of comfort and pleasure.

Bold decisions are uncomfortable, but the more you make them, the more you adapt.

However, because hard decisions often bring pain, people tend to avoid them. Yet, choosing indecision is still a decision, one that will eventually lead to others making choices for you.

To prevent falling into the trap of indecision, identify meaningful goals and create a vision for your life.

By choosing indecision, it is a decision in itself.

Which will inevitably result in others deciding for you.

To prevent this indecision, identify meaningful goals and create a vision.

What kind of life would you rather have than your current one?

Risks are needed. Failure is needed. Mistakes will happen. Without any of these, your life will not improve.

So pick a decision and never fall into the trap of indecision. I have been there for years. It sucks to be stagnant. That's why spirituality helps me; it gives me the bigger picture. Helps me expand my awareness to make better decisions.

Spiritual perspective.

Why do humans decide? Do we have to decide?

Decisions arise from choices.

Choices arise from desire.

We desire not to suffer. We desire not to feel stress. We desire to avoid uncomfortable feelings. we then direct them to smoking, drinking, watching TV, playing video games, doing drugs, and watching porn. To avoid the actual feeling, we replace it with cheap dopamine. Then they become habits. Where your body does it automatically.

Take quitting smoking as an example. You decide to quit, but your body still craves it.

A struggle emerges from this resistance. A choice arises amid the uncertainty, unclarity, and confusion.

You tell yourself, "I must not smoke," but you end up putting energy into resisting the urge.

In this way, choosing becomes a form of resistance.

But what if you’re choosing something like a career path? Is making a choice in this context still a form of resistance?

Decide out of the present moment, not from your head. Your mind is a wanderer. Thinking about the past, the future. The body is here, now.

The Uncertainty of Life

Life is change, and change brings uncertainty.

Everything emerges from the unknown and eventually returns to it.

In Eastern thought, there’s the concept of karma, which means "action" in Sanskrit. Our actions produce effects, linking directly to the principle of cause and effect.

Every action you take leaves what I like to call karmic residue.

Action and decision are linked.

So every decision you make brings about its own unique karma you will have to work with.

Knowing this gives a sense of self-responsibility.

You cannot escape the consequences of your decisions, so you might as well commit to making them.

One way to simplify this process is to reduce your options and start with a single step.

There's an Aesop fable called The Fox and the Cat.

This idea is illustrated by Aesop's fable The Fox and the Cat. In the story, the fox and the cat discuss their strategies for escaping danger. The fox brags about having numerous tricks, while the cat says it only has one reliable escape method. When hunters suddenly appear, the cat quickly climbs a tree to safety, while the fox, overwhelmed by its many options, is caught. The cat survived because it had only one choice, while the fox’s indecision led to its downfall.

The lesson here is that fewer choices can lead to clearer decisions and a more straightforward path forward.

Actionable Steps to Help Decision-Making

1) Practice Being Present to Tap into Intuition

Intuition emerges when you are fully present. Don’t force intuition—allow it to arise naturally by being more aware of your surroundings, thoughts, and feelings. Practice mindfulness techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or simply paying attention to your senses in the present moment.

2) Train yourself to enter the flow state.

The flow state occurs when you're deeply immersed in an activity, allowing your actions to feel effortless and instinctual. Start by engaging in activities that challenge you just enough to stay focused but not overwhelmed. As you practice, the flow state will become more accessible, helping you make decisions intuitively and without hesitation.

3) Make Bold Decisions and Embrace Discomfort
Don’t shy away from making tough choices. The more you step out of your comfort zone, the higher your tolerance for discomfort becomes. Remember, hard choices lead to an easier life in the long run. Set small daily challenges that push you beyond your comfort zone.

4) Limit Your Options to Avoid Overthinking
When faced with a decision, narrow down your choices to no more than two or three. Too many options can overwhelm you and lead to analysis paralysis. Commit to one choice and take immediate action. The story of The Fox and the Cat teaches us that having fewer choices often leads to quicker, clearer decisions.

5) Reflect on Your Decisions and Learn from the Outcomes
After making a decision, take time to reflect. What went well? What could have been better? This practice of reflection helps you learn from your experiences and build confidence in your decision-making skills

6) Create a Vision for Your Life
Define what kind of life you truly desire. Having a clear vision will help you align your decisions with your purpose. Set meaningful goals and revisit them regularly to keep yourself on track.

Thank you for reading,

Nate